


Worlds Collide [on hiatus until further notice]

by Zany_Frog



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Genocide Route, Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Lots of Crying, Medical Abuse, ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, PTSD Sans, Past Character Death, Post-Pacifist Route, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Sad Skele, Sans's past is revealed, Self-Hatred, Temporary Character Death, chapter 4 has rape, genocide route is in the past, it's wonderful angst, mentions of skelepreg, rape credit goes to torii-cloud on tumblr, she's amylee4life on here, skelepreg, slight suicidal thoughts, yay but also not yay, you should check out her fic Looping Nightmare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-07-19 15:00:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7366534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zany_Frog/pseuds/Zany_Frog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What does it matter if Sans tells his friends about his past? It was all going to be Reset anyways, right?</p><p>I'm really bad at summaries. Co-written with screw-biology.tumblr.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'm posting this chapter to see how people react. If you have any questions, go to screw-biology.tumblr.com, zanymaybepundom.tumblr.com, or leave a comment  
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: mentions of medical abuse, mentions of past character death, self-hatred, slight suicidal thoughts**

The surface was amazing. Of course it was. It just got a little bleak and repetitive after so many Resets. It had been so breathtaking the first time. So new and exciting that his friends had started questioning why he was so different than he had been Underground.

Now the surface was just something else he had to deal with. Just another ending to Frisk’s and Chara’s fucked up game. Just another few weeks or so that he had to live through before it all Reset.

Well, at least he usually got a break from the constant guessing in the Underground. If they made it up, it was Frisk; if they didn’t, it was Chara. Frisk never hurt anybody when they had control. It was just hard to see if Chara had actually killed anyone when the monsters all hid anyways.

Frisk and him had a mutual agreement that Chara should be stopped if at all possible. And, god, he tried. He tried so hard to stop them. It just never worked, he was always too weak. Always too useless.

Sometimes, he wondered if he was ever actually on the surface. He was jumpy around the kid, but they understood; hiding his struggles around the others, but they didn’t notice. It was the same as always; so how could they be anywhere other than the Underground?

And, if he had a panic attack just laying in bed in their surface home, it didn’t matter. Because it would all be Reset, right? Just because Frisk said that Chara was gone didn’t mean they actually were. So, he let himself break down. Just this once, just this timeline. He needed a break, anyways. He let his tears fall and his bones shake. He let himself sob and curl up as tight as he could.

He was alone; he was allowed to do this when he was alone. Everyone had gone off to do something; he couldn’t remember where each individual friend was and he honestly didn’t care right now. So long as it meant he was alone and not tainting their happiness with his struggles. They deserved to be happy, at least for this limited amount of time.

A knock on his door yanked him out of his spiraling thoughts. “Sans? We brought some food back from Grillby’s, if you want it.” It was Alphys and, from the sounds of loud laughter coming from the kitchen, Undyne and Papyrus too.

He wanted to refuse the offer, just go back to his crying and let the world move on without him. But, if he did that, they would be suspicious. Sans always jumped on the opportunity to have some of Grillby’s food.

“Uh, yeah, just give me a sec,” he called out, rubbing his eye sockets and cheeks to rid them of tears. He hoped she hadn’t heard the waver in his voice.

Pulling off the sheets, he deemed himself ready to face the others, or at least look like his normal, unkempt self. He unlocked and opened his door, grinning at Alphys like he hadn’t just been in his room crying his heart out because the world was cruel. Alphys smiled back, walking with him to the kitchen. Undyne and Papyrus were having their daily noogie-ing session, with Papyrus screaming bloody murder and Undyne cackling madly. Sans smiled a bit more genuinely at their antics, his tense posture turning relaxed.

“BROTHER!” Papyrus said, his average voice being a normal person’s yell. “WE BROUGHT HOME SOME FOOD FROM GRILLBY’S.” Undyne let Papyrus go with a final cackle and he immediately went to hug his brother. Sans let out a chuckle as he was picked up.

“Wow, bro. You really _sweep me off my feet_ ,” he said with a forced grin. Undyne and Alphys snickered as Papyrus yelled at Sans’s pun, but he could see the laugh he was holding back.

“I can't _stand_ to wait, bro. Where's the Grillby’s everyone keeps talking about?” Papyrus sat Sans down at that one, storming off without a second glance in Sans’s direction while yelling about his puns. Sans felt his smile slip away as Papyrus’s naturally happy aura left the room. He let out a sigh and turned to Undyne and Alphys, who were looking at him in concern.

“Are you okay, dude? You seem a little...off,” Undyne asked, waving her hand as if that would further her point. Sans forced a smile even as he felt panic grip his soul. They couldn’t know. He couldn’t tell them.

“I’m fine. Just _bone_ tired,” he replied, turning to the fridge. He took out a ketchup bottle and completely ignored the food from Grillby’s left in there. He didn’t feel like eating right now.

“Are you sure?” Alphys questioned. She must have noticed that he didn’t take out the Grillby’s.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I’m fine. Like I said, just tired,” he repeated, but the lie tasted bitter on his tongue. He took a sip from the ketchup bottle, then nearly choked on it when he noticed Frisk in the doorway. In the light, it looked like they had red eyes. He forced himself to swallow, grimacing as the ketchup burned his throat. All of them looked concerned. They shouldn’t look like that. They should be happy.

“Heya, kiddo. Just get home?” His voice sounded strained even to his own not-ears. They nodded, signing something he didn’t catch.

“Uh, sorry, what was that? I still haven’t gotten a good _hand_ le on sign language,” he said, grinning at the pun he had just thought up. He felt the grin slip when Frisk signed what they asked again but slower.

‘Are you alright?’

He had a feeling that he wasn’t doing a very good job at hiding his emotions. When he was Underground, he could put on a happy mask faster than anyone could blink, but now he seemed to have lost the ability. God, why was he such a screw up? He felt stinging in his eyes but he pushed it away.

He forced a smile and repeated for the third time today, “I’m _fine_.” The trio before him didn’t seem too convinced. They were all focused on him and he just wanted to die. They were supposed to be happy, and he was messing everything up. Why did he always do that?

“C-C’mon, guys. Stop staring. I swear, I’m fine. Just go back to being happy, okay? Don’t worry about me,” he said, then shifted in his spot, looking down. He was fine, he was fine, he was _fine_. Maybe if he thought and said it enough it would come true. Noticing the ketchup bottle still in his hand, he quickly put it back in the fridge. He _really_ didn’t want to see the color red right now.

Turning back to the others, he noticed they hadn’t looked away and were just standing there awkwardly. He sighed as he tried to push past them. Undyne’s hand caught his sleeve before he could get too far.

“Sans, if you need to talk, we’re here. Don’t push us away.” Sans grit his teeth. He knew they were there. His first time on the surface he had told them, but what was the point if it was all gonna be reset? If he told them, they would forget and he’d be pushed back to square one. He looked towards Frisk for help, but all he got was more encouragement to talk.

‘Sans, we should tell them. They should know,’ they signed. He looked down, pulling his sleeve away from Undyne. The kid had that determined look on their face, but he could also see their pleading look underneath it. Rubbing his face in his hands and feeling his walls crumble, he sighed. He loved Frisk too much to deny them something they needed.

“Okay...okay. Only for you, kid. And I’ll only do this once. If it comes to this again, I’m not doing it,” he finally grumbled, staring at Frisk intensely. They nodded, smiling at him while signing ‘I promise.’ He couldn’t smile back. “Is everyone home or are they still out?” he asked, voice flat. He didn’t want to tell the same story twice in one day. And he was pretty sure he’d break down during it so he wanted to be sure they all heard it. If he was telling them, he was telling all of them, and he was gonna go all in. Tell them the whole story, even the Doctor. He shivered just at the thought of him.

“Pretty sure they’re all here. I’ll get ‘em,” Undyne said, then basically ran out of the room. Sans didn’t say anything as he walked to the living room. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. But, he already said he would, so he had to now. He never went back on his word, and the kid needed to talk to somebody. He felt guilt claw at his gut. He’d been the one holding them back from talking, hadn’t he? They wouldn’t talk to anybody if it wasn’t okay with him. Oh god, he was horrible. He had been denying them something that they needed just because of his stupid fears.

“...Sans?” The voice broke through his thoughts, and he jolted back to reality. Everyone had moved to the living room while he had just been standing there, staring off into space. They were all staring at him, and he realized that it had been Papyrus who had broken the silence. His voice had been so quiet. Already, he wanted to back out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: mentions of medical abuse, self-hatred** (I feel like that's gonna be in most chapters, so get used to it)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think chapter updates will be every Sunday/Monday until we get to where we're still writing. I still have a life, so that schedule might not always happen.  
> If you have any questions go to zanyfreak.tumblr.com (I changed my username, don't worry. it's still lil old me), screw-biology.tumblr.com, or the comments!

“Oh, heh...heya, guys….” Yes, great way to start, Sans. He rolled his eyes at his inability to even _talk_ normally. Plopping down to the floor right where he had been standing, he locked eyes with the kid.

“Where should I even start?” he asked them, and they got up from the couch to sit by him.

‘Gaster. You should start with Gaster,’ they signed to him, then pulled him into a hug. He tensed for a moment before hugging back.

“Alright, kiddo,” he grumbled, then continued in a slightly louder voice, “This...this is probably going to sound...I don’t know. Probably unreal? Whatever. But, anyways, I’ll need you guys to be quiet until the end. I mean, unless I start to, uh, drift off. Then one of you has to, like, slap me or something.” He paused to let his words sink in and for everyone to agree. Eventually, they all either nodded or muttered their agreement. Frisk pushed away from the hug to give him a thumbs up and an encouraging smile.

“Okay, then. Well, uh, I knew the Royal Scientist. And I don’t mean Alphys, I mean the man before her. His name was...Gaster. W-well, Wingdings, actually, but everyone always called him Gaster.” It felt wrong to say his name. His eyes darted around the room for a moment, like saying it would somehow make him appear. “We called him the Doctor, though. He didn’t really like Paps and me using his name. You see, the Doctor, he. Well, he created me and Paps. But he wasn’t really...our father. And he definitely didn’t consider us his sons. We were more like experiments to him.

“The Doctor liked to test things out on us. I-I tried to make sure that he didn’t experiment on Paps much. It didn’t always work. Sometimes, when I was unconscious or couldn't move, he’d take him. I...heh. I was powerless to stop him.” Sans didn’t even realize that he had trailed off until Frisk patted his hand. He gave them a shaky smile.

“Heh, not even to the bad part and already gettin’ away from myself.” _‘Pathetic,’_ his thoughts cut in, making him grimace. Looking back at the others, he noticed that they all had varying looks of horror on their faces. He forced himself to look away, his gaze on the floor instead. “You sure about this, kid? Do you really want them to know?”

“Yes,” they said, their voice croaky from disuse but the message behind it was unmistakable. They were _really_ determined about this. He nodded hesitantly back in answer, then turned back to the others.

“Yeah, okay, back to the story,” he paused, collecting his thoughts, “I couldn’t really stop him from experimenting on Paps. But, I guess I interested the Doctor more anyways, because I got most of the tests and experiments.

“At one point, the Doctor figured out how to extract Determination, DT for short, from human souls. DT is something that every human has, in varying degrees. It’s kinda like their own magic, in a way. The Doctor thought that he could find a way to break the barrier with enough of it, but he was also curious about its properties. So, he started injecting me with it. It left me unusable for a while after, but I guess he liked the results because he kept at it. I gained magical energy, but I lost a good chunk of my other stats too.

“I’m pretty sure I would’ve died if he hadn’t disappeared. Well...disappeared isn’t exactly the right term. He fell into the Core, and I know it didn’t kill him. But he also isn’t here. I’m pretty sure he’s scattered all along the space-time continuum. That’s why you guys don’t remember him, but...he shows up every now and then.” Sans shuddered as he remembered the last time. It had been in this timeline, and he had locked himself in his room for weeks after the sight of him. The kid hadn't even been out of the Ruins yet. Papyrus had been so worried.

“Heh, anyways, back to the point,” he said, hurrying along. “Well, DT lets people do a lot of different things. Frisk and Flowey both have or had DT, meaning they can Reset time if they’re determined enough. And, since I have DT like the two of them, I can remember the Resets. It also let me remember the Doctor.

“Flowey,” he glared at the flower, who had been completely silent through all of this. Frisk had gone back to the Underground to get him and, even though the flower had some semblance of a soul now, he was still an asshole. “had the ability to Reset first. I was confused when they happened, but I caught on after five or six. I went through the same weeks over and over, for who knows how long, until Flowey finally showed his face. I didn’t really think it was him, at first, but I figured it out after a while. He had killed a few monsters in some of the timelines, but I faced off with him when he did. He eventually got the hint, but he didn’t ever really stop Resetting until he lost his ability to. I don’t know how he lost it, and I honestly don’t care about it that much. So long as he doesn’t get the ability to Reset again.

“Anyways, when Frisk fell, they had enough DT to Reset too, they just didn’t know how to use it. Well, uh….” He let out a sigh, letting his face drop to his hands. Toriel was definitely not going to like this. Well, he guessed no one was going to like this, but especially not Toriel. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his face from his hands and looked at the others. They were staring at him. It was stifling. He looked away from them and pushed another breath through his teeth, letting himself just breathe for a moment or two.

He couldn’t believe he was actually doing this after so long. The last time he had told them was the first time they all came to the surface, which had probably been a few hundred years ago. He suddenly felt sick. He was so tired of this. So tired of _everything_. Gritting his teeth at the stinging of tears, he rubbed at his eye sockets, then looked at the others.

“Heh, sorry. Not really used to talking,” he explained, then turned to Frisk, “Wanna take it from here, kiddo? You understand what happened more than I do.”

The kid nodded, pushing Sans up and onto the couch. He let out a tired chuckle as he sunk down into the cushions. “Okay, but don’t blame me if I fall asleep.” They smiled and pat his knee.

‘It’s okay, you can sleep. The others might wake you up for questions, though,’ they signed at him slowly so he could understand. He nodded lazily and shut his eyes. Before long, he was asleep and snoring softly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: PTSD, panic attack, mentions of medical abuse**

A loud clashing noise made Sans shoot upright, left eye igniting in flame and tensing for a fight. He gritted his teeth and took in his surroundings before letting himself relax a little. He wasn’t back in the labs, he was on the surface, in the living room of the cramped house they all lived in. 1,563 Resets in.

“Sans, darling, are you alright?” Mettaton. Sans didn’t really like him, but he could never deny someone that made Paps happy. And Mettaton wasn’t that bad of a person, he was just a little eccentric at times, and he did truly love Papyrus.

Sans turned around, taking in more of his surroundings. “Heh, yep, I’m fine,” he answered distractedly, “What was that noise?” He didn't like how his voice shook or how Mettaton seemed to become even more concerned.

“That was just Papyrus in the kitchen. You know how enthusiastic he gets about cooking,” the robot answered, smiling at Sans. He nodded, letting himself relax fully, his eyes falling shut. Papyrus was fine, he was fine, everyone was fine. He wasn't back in the labs or the Underground, he was fine. Letting out a deep breath, he put on his normal grin and opened his eyes.

“Welp, guess I'll _spaghetti_ outta here and check up on my bro,” he said, putting extra emphasis on the pun to throw off Mettaton’s concern. Maybe if he acted like he did back in the Underground the others wouldn't look at him differently. Doubtful, but he could try.

Before Mettaton could say anything in return, Sans hurried to the kitchen. The robot stood there in stunned silence for a second or two before following after the skeleton.

“Heya, bro. Whatcha making?” Sans asked, even though everyone in the house probably knew the answer to that question. Papyrus turned around, his face lighting up at seeing his brother up and walking so early in the morning.

“AH, GOOD MORNING, BROTHER! I’M MAKING BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI, OF COURSE!” Papyrus exclaimed. His smile widened when he noticed his brother seemed more relaxed than yesterday. _‘Yesterday…’_ Papyrus suddenly thought, his smile fading a bit. _‘I never knew Sans went through that much.’_

“Course you are,” Sans said, noticing Mettaton in the doorway out of the corner of his eye. He let out a small sigh and walked over to the fridge. He would need a lot more ketchup if getting through the day meant he would be getting looks like the one Mettaton had on. Taking out a bottle, he noticed that the Grillby’s was still there, this time with a note stating that it was Sans’s. He noticed it was in Papyrus’s handwriting. Sans smiled a little as he closed the fridge again, ketchup in hand.

He stood there and watched as his brother started talking to Mettaton in his naturally loud voice, still making spaghetti as he did. Papyrus’s food was getting a lot better now that he had Toriel to teach him instead of Undyne. He learned a lot through those weird human cooking shows too. Sans supposed that the surface was good for his brother. It was definitely good for the others. It was only bad for him because he knew it would all be ripped from him soon enough: his happiness, his friends, his family. All set back to square one just because Chara decided to fuck everything up again. God, he hated that kid.

He hated how they could taint everyone, even Frisk. He hated how they could kill everyone without any regret. He hated how they knew every little thing that set him off. He hated them, he hated them, _he hated them_.

“Sans?”

He snapped back to reality with a gasp, immediately smacking the hand on his shoulder off of him and pushing whoever it was away. His magic sparked to life, and he brought his hands up in a fighting stance like it was second nature. When he looked up, it was to a monster he hoped that he would never see again.

“D-Doctor?” His voice was weak, shaking. No, this couldn’t be right, this couldn’t be happening. What was happening? Oh god, what _happened_? He couldn’t be here unless something happened. His magic flared even brighter when the Doctor stepped closer.

“St-stay back!” To his surprise, the Doctor listened, staying in place and saying something he didn't catch. Sans continued to stare at him, his magic swirling as he panicked. “Y-you can't be here. You c-can't, it's too soon. You never sh-show up twice in a timeline. N-never. God, why now?” He was shaking, and his magic was building up in his bones. “I can't do th-this, not again. Please, oh god, p-please. I can't go back there.”

The kitchen faded into the coldness of the labs, the tiles and walls bleached in a sharp white. The Doctor was staring at him, a needle in his hand and a blank look set on his features. His eyes betrayed his enjoyment.

**_“Be a good little experiment and come here. It will hurt less.”_ **

God, that voice. It was cold and dark and everything he wanted to run away from. A small, terrified whimper made its way up his throat. His magic flickered as his determination to fight quickly started to fade. _He couldn’t do this again._

Suddenly, arms wrapped around him from behind and he nearly choked. He barely registered the soft words being spoken to him, too caught up in shaking and panicking to realize who it was.

“Please, Sans, come back. Come back to us.” The voice cut through Sans's thoughts like a knife, breaking him from his panic and pushing him to the present with cold cruelty.

The calculating face of the Doctor morphed into the concerned face of his brother. Closing his eyes, he breathed in a deep gulp of air. He took in the feeling of the arms around him, the way the soft fur tickled his bones and the way warmth emanated from them. He felt tears start to form in his eyes and pushed away from the boss monster behind him. He stumbled into his brother, wrapping his arms around him and letting out a sigh that was quickly followed by a sob.

“Are you alright?” Sans hiccupped, then pulled away from his brother nodding.

“Yeah.” His voice was hoarse. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Yeah, I'm okay now.” He wiped the tears in his eyes away, looking at the ground. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize, Sans. We want to help,” Toriel butted in. Sans didn’t look up, but he knew almost everyone was there. He just wanted to leave, to escape everything he was messing up right now. They shouldn’t be worried, they should be happy and carefree. He was messing it up, he was fucking it up again. How could he be so selfish?

His arms wrapped around his middle as he looked up. Sure enough, everyone was there. Silent. Staring. Wrong. He needed to stop this. It was wrong. They should be happy.

Without a second thought, he teleported with no set destination in mind.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: rape (I'M NOT KIDDING, IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED RUN AWAY NOW), mentions of medical abuse, panic attack, PTSD**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is extra long! We haven't written in a bit and won't be able to for a while.  
> Someone basically told me that I should stop writing "rape-y fanfiction" if I don't want to be known for it in the future and that writing stuff like this won't be able to change people's lives. Well, in all honesty, that fucking hurts to be told. But you guys are amazing and helped me out of my writing slump without even knowing! So thank you, thank you so much.  
> With that being said, I labeled where the rape starts so that you can skip it, but it's a pretty big chunk of the chapter. There will be some talk of it in the next chapter (which I don't know when we will be able to put up), so be careful, friends.
> 
> If you having any questions, concerns, or criticisms, you know where to go!

He should have known his magic would lead him here. He had spent a considerable amount of time in the Void, just...floating. It had helped calm his nerves a little. But he had to go somewhere, and with how his mind was focused on... _him_ , it shouldn’t have been a surprise that he ended up in the labs. But it still was and now he was really wishing he had eaten something before he had just blipped out of there. His magic was too low now to teleport back unless he found something to eat or somewhere to sleep.

Despite everyone’s beliefs, he did have trouble getting to sleep and staying that way. It helped if he had somewhere safe, soft, and warm, but the labs were _never_ going to be that to him. If anything they were the opposite: dangerous, sharp, and cold. If he slept here, he would probably use up his remaining magic waking up from a nightmare and panicking again.

“Fuck,” he mumbled to himself as he started off in a direction. The word echoed off the walls, leaving him trembling slightly at the haunting sound. _‘Let’s not do that again,’_ he thought to himself dully, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

...

Papyrus was scared. Of course he was. His brother had just disappeared, a talent that even Papyrus didn't know about. He knew his brother had still been keeping things from them, but something as small as being able to teleport seemed a silly thing to hide. Maybe he just assumed that everyone knew? At least, it looked like everyone but him knew a little about his brother's magical abilities.

Papyrus realized he might be in shock, standing there and thinking about his brother’s ability to teleport instead of how his brother could be anywhere right now, how his brother could be lost in his mind, picturing that awful man and what he had done to him without anyone to help him snap out of it.

“Papyrus,” Undyne’s voice called, breaking him from his thoughts. He slowly brought his head up to stare at the fish monster.

“He-he’s gone. He just...left,” he said. His voice didn't even sound like his own, echoing in his mind like he was in a large and empty room. How could his brother leave when he so obviously needed help?

 _‘You're used to this. He's done this a million times. Running from his problems and troubles because he doesn't want to burden anyone. Why is it such a surprise now?’_ his thoughts reminded him cruelly. Oh, how he wished he had known. Maybe then he could have pushed Sans a little harder to come forward, to accept help without feeling like he was being selfish.

“W-we're gonna head out and see if we can find him,” Alphys said, though her voice seemed a bit quieter than usual and she had stuttered. Alphys had been getting help for her stuttering since reaching the surface and her work had really paid off. She now only stuttered when she got excited or nervous. Papyrus figured it was the latter. He didn't blame her, he was feeling all kinds of emotions right now.

Undyne slapped him on the back, jolted him from his thoughts again. “We’ll find him, don’t worry!” The words sounded fake, but Papyrus let them lift his spirits anyways. Because if the Great Papyrus was anything, it was positive!

“OF COURSE WE WILL! HE COULDN’T HAVE GONE TOO FAR!” Papyrus exclaimed, his natural optimism a little more forced than usual.

...

Sans had finally found some food. It wasn’t the best - way too expired Chisps weren’t exactly his idea of perfect - but he got enough magical energy in his system to teleport again. Or at least he hoped he did. He’d really rather not stay in the Void for all eternity just because he hadn’t eaten enough food, but he would chance it. It’s not like it wasn’t all gonna be Reset anyways. He briefly wondered if the Resets affected the Void in the same way and if he was stuck there, if he would really be Reset or not.

Shaking those thoughts from his mind and taking a deep breath, Sans prepared for the worst and teleported. Magic flowed through him, making his fingers and toes tingle with energy and his breath leave him for a second. He watched the darkness of the Void pass in front of his eyes. For a terrifying and exhilarating moment, he thought he was stuck there, forever living in darkness, before his feet touched the carpet of their surface home. All magic left him, leaving him gasping for breath as he fell to the floor. Blood and dust trailed from his mouth as he coughed. Guess he hadn’t gotten quite enough energy.

“SANS?!” That voice was unmistakably Papyrus. And he sounded a mix of hopeful, confused, and hurt all at the same time.

“Hnng...hey-heya, Paps,” Sans managed before his coughing rendered him speechless for a moment. God, this was torture. He wondered if his stats were fluctuating like they usually were when he got like this. Or maybe they were just going down. It didn’t matter either way, but he wanted to focus on something other than the pain for a while. Taking a deep breath, he brought his stats up and watched in fascination as his HP steadily decreased and his other stats swapped between high and low.

“Sans! Oh no, oh no. Toriel, come here! Sans, please, don't...don't leave me again.” Papyrus was beside him. When had that happened? His voice was clearly panicked, almost too fast for Sans to understand him in his now-fuzzy state.

Sans let a grin take over his face as a strange euphoria spread over his bones. “I-it's okay, Paps, just gonna sleep a lil,” Sans mumbled, lazily patting his brother’s hand that had somehow made its way to his chest. “You're the coolest, bro. Best bro ever. Surprised that evil could make somethin’ as cool as you. ‘M so tired, heh.”

“No, no, Sans, don't go to sleep yet. What happened?” Papyrus asked hurriedly, his words blending together in Sans's mind.

He giggled and replied, “Mmmagic. The Void is so niiice, bro.” Papyrus looked confused for a second before shaking his head and looking somewhere off to the side. Sans closed his eyes, using Papyrus's distraction to his advantage.

…

**“Come here, Experiment.”** _The voice echoed in his mind. Sans snapped his eyes open. The voice had been firm and frustrated, making Sans want to comply instantly._

_He was back in the labs, but he was floating near one of the corners of the room. A younger and more scared version of himself was cowering below him._

__**“Come here, or do you want me to get the other experiment?”** _the Doctor asked, this time glaring at younger him. Both Sanses whimpered. Younger him hesitantly walked over to the taller monster. When he was close enough, the Doctor pulled his arm to get him to move faster, eliciting a pained yelp from the skeleton. Suddenly, Sans was back in his younger body, struggling to free himself._

…

Papyrus watched as his brother slept. After Sans had passed out, Toriel had hurried to try and heal him, but it didn't quite work. He looked better than when he first appeared but had stayed asleep. His stats continued to fluctuate, but his HP was full from Toriel’s healing.

Currently, Sans was laying in his (now clean) room, still asleep. He wanted to wake him up and hug him, just to make sure he was alright and _there._ But Toriel had told him he needed his rest to restore his magical energy. So he sat in silence, watching over his brother and hoping he was going to be alright.

A small whimper brought him out of his musings. Papyrus looked down at his brother, dread already clawing its way into his mind. Sans’s face was scrunched up and he was shaking slightly, small noises of distress slipping out of his mouth as sweat started to bead on the poor skeleton’s forehead.

Papyrus immediately hopped into action. He knew how to deal with this, this had happened almost every night in the Underground. He gently shook Sans, telling him to wake up. His brother whimpered louder, trying to form words through his small, terrified sobs.

**_RAPE STARTS HERE_ **

“Pl-please, no! I-I don't...don't want th-this! Stop, please!” Sans broke off into a broken sob.

Papyrus froze for a second. Those words, they sounded so desperate, scared, confused. He could account them to the experiments Sans went through, but this sounded...different. He had experienced Sans during nightmares from the experiments, he just hadn't known at the time that that was what they were. Now it seemed so obvious. Those pleas and cries were easily seen as a child wanting out, wanting so desperately to escape their own special kind of hell. But, no, these words sounded like a different kind of torture. They sounded like-

“Plea-please, it hurts! Stop it! St-stop!” Sans was struggling, flailing around on the bed. He was sobbing and yelling so loudly Papyrus was surprised the others weren't bursting through the door.

Papyrus snapped out of his thoughts, shaking his brother more fiercely, determined to wake him up before this got any worse.

“SANS, WAKE UP, IT’S JUST A DREAM!” Sans struggled a bit more before bolting upright, almost hitting Papyrus in the process. He immediately pushed out of Papyrus's arms and scooted to the other side of the bed.

“S-sorry, sorry, I’m sorry.” His voice continued, though it gradually got more indecipherable as his breathing got more labored. His hands scratched at his neck in a sort of desperation that Papyrus could only hope to understand.

Papyrus watched as his brother shook, mumbling unneeded apologies. He...he looked so defeated. Like he just gave up.

Papyrus felt like his soul was cracking. 

…

**“Stop struggling or I’ll have to sedate you.”** _The Doctor’s voice seemed far too calm for the situation. Or at least that’s what Sans thought as he continued his struggle to free himself. Gaster growled at him, speaking harshly in a language Sans didn’t know._

_Suddenly, Sans felt another hand grip his other arm, lifting him up and placing him almost gently on a cushioned table. He continued his struggles in earnest. The table had leather straps connected to where arms and legs would go and one near the end where his head would sit._

_Sans whimpered as more hands appeared to hold him down, pulling his arms into the right positions and strapping him in. His head was pushed roughly against the table, and he watched as the Doctor leaned over him, strapping his skull down. Sans felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes. He didn’t know what was happening._

_He felt a rush of cold air hit his pelvis, making him let out a small gasp and try to look down. He gritted his teeth as he felt the straps wrap around his ankles, tightening to the point he felt his bones grind together. “Wh-what are you doing?” he whimpered out, knowing he wouldn’t get an answer but hoping desperately that some explanation would present itself._

_He let out a small puff of air when his shirt was lifted slightly, the cold air of the lab hitting his bones and making him shiver. Sans watched as the Doctor turned around and walked to a small fridge. A weird red liquid in a container found its way to his hand. When he brought out a needle, Sans stared at it. That red stuff wasn’t DT, Sans knew that, so what was it?_

_The Doctor turned towards him again, flicking the needle to get any bubbles out before looking down at Sans._ **“Form your stomach.”** _Sans hesitantly let his magic form what the Doctor wanted. The Doctor had never injected him in one of his magical formations; he had always found a smooth portion of bone on his arm to use._

_There was a small pinch as the needle pressed into his lower stomach. Sans watched with a mix of mortification and fascination as the mystery liquid drained into his magic. When the Doctor was done, he pulled the needle out and turned around. Then, before Sans could really think about it, the monster was at the end of the table again._

_This didn’t feel like any other experiments Sans had experienced before. Those didn’t require anything lower than his ribs. And this...this felt like a violation somehow, the Doctor staring at the naked lower portion of his body. He shifted in his bonds uncomfortably._

__**“Summon your magic down here,”** _the Doctor said, his voice holding a strange tone. Sans whimpered again, trying to move his arms or head, hoping to get into a better position to look down at what the Doctor was doing._

_“I-I can’t,” Sans replied, shaking slightly, “I d-don’t know how.” He heard the Doctor sigh agitatedly._

__**“Concentrate your magic in your pelvis.”** _Sans tried his best to nod, though with his head strapped down it didn’t look like much of anything. Then he felt an almost gentle touch against his exposed pelvis, rubbing slowly up and down. Sans felt his stomach twist as his spine arched slightly and a small puff of air left his mouth. He felt his eyes fall shut as the hand continued its movements, his whole body growing warm._

_“Wh-what are y-you doing?!” he gasped, somewhere between a strong sense of wrongness and the strange pleasure he was gaining from this. His magic involuntarily flared, something forming in front of his pelvis that felt...wet._

_The Doctor made a pleased sound, one of his fingers dipping into the new magic entrance. Sans let out a loud gasp. This felt...weird. Overbearing mortification and confusion were dampening whatever pleasure it brought. He felt another finger dip into the strange magic he had formed, the burning sensation starting to make it even more uncomfortable. When he cried out, the Doctor hummed in pleasure._

_“Pl-please, no! I-I don't...don't want th-this! Stop, please!” He didn’t know why he said that. Begging never worked, no matter the punishment, and now would be no different. His sob got caught in his throat as the Doctor chuckled._

__**“I’ve wanted this for a while, Experiment. Watching you helpless is so...”** _The Doctor was quiet a moment before his fingers jabbed further into his entrance. Sans let out a loud sob as pain shot through him, his tears finally spilling over._ **“Fulfilling.”** __

_Sans’s fingers clutched at the air, shaking so much his bones clacked together. Suddenly, the fingers left his magic, and, for a hopeful moment, Sans thought it was over. Thought he could go back to his room and hold Papyrus and act like nothing was happening around him._

_His breath hitched when the Doctor was suddenly on top of him, unzipping his pants with a faint purple blush dusting his cheekbones and a crazy look in his eyes. He said nothing as he pulled out a glowing magic cock. Sans’s eyes widened. He knew nothing about this, but he had a feeling that that_ thing _was going inside him. He opened his mouth to protest, but the Doctor shoved his tongue into his mouth before a word could come out. He whimpered into the unwanted kiss, closing his eyes in anticipation._

_Burning pain ripped through his body. His scream was muffled by the Doctor’s tongue. Without warning, the Doctor began to thrust into him and he broke off the kiss with a pleasured moan._

_As soon as Sans was able to, he cried out, “Plea-please, it hurts! Stop it! St-stop!” Even he could hear the weakness in his voice. He tried to struggle, sweat and tears mixing as they ran down his skull. His small, mumbled pleas were drowned out by the Doctor’s loud moans of pleasure. As he felt something hot and sticky shoot inside of him, the Doctor sunk his teeth into the experiment’s neck._

_Other than a flinch, he didn’t react. He felt mercifully numb._

__“SANS, WAKE UP, IT’S JUST A DREAM!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a cliffhanger to leave you interested! ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: panic attack, PTSD, mentions of character death, medical abuse, talk of rape, self-hatred**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, my peeps. I have had little to no motivation to write this fic recently, and I've started another fic because I am Undertale trash. Also, I've fallen into Sansgore and Sansgoriel hell (save me).

Sans bolted upright, immediately scooting away from the hands that were touching him. _Touching, always touching_. When he was as far away as he could get, he started mumbling apologies as he curled into himself. He knew he was shaking and wished he could stop. _**“Stop shaking, Experiment.”** Please, stop. Stop shaking, stop hurting, stop breaking._  


His breathing was labored. He couldn’t get enough air, he couldn’t breath. He needed air. _Please, god, he needed air. There was dust. Dust everywhere. How could they do this?_ He clawed at his neck desperately, trying to gouge out the mark that made him _**his**_ while also trying to dislodge the dust choking him.  


He felt a hand on his shoulder. A voice drifted through the haze of his memories. _I’m sorry, Papyrus. I failed you._ “Brother, please, calm down. Breathe for me, okay?” Sans groggily blinked, a large blurry blob of color starting to clear in front of him. He watched as the blur _Papyrus_ made exaggerated movements, his hand moving up and down as he breathed in and out. Sans watched, breathing according to the movements, hiccupping occasionally. He was started to see more clearly, his tears coming to a halt as his breathing became a little less hard to control.  


A loud knock at the door caused Sans to jump and curl up into himself more. Papyrus let out a frustrated sigh, making Sans shake.  


“It’s okay, Sans. Shh, it's just our friends. It's okay,” Papyrus said, his voice quiet. He was fighting the urge to simply hug and cuddle his brother until he was okay again. In a slightly louder voice than before, he called out, “Come in!”  


The door opened with a small creak. Their friends filed in, Undyne in the lead. When Papyrus turned back to his brother, he saw that he had uncurled himself from the ball he was in before and, while he was still shaking, he looked a little more put together.  


“Sans, can I hug you?” Papyrus asked quietly. Sans’s eye lights flicked up to him, tiny pinpricks in a pool of darkness that sunk into Papyrus's bones with a tired wariness. His brother nodded silently. As soon as he got permission, Papyrus moved to hug his brother.  


“It's okay now, Sans. You're not there anymore. You're safe, brother. You're safe.”  


Sans’s arms tightened around Papyrus. He was safe. He was _safe_. The Doctor wasn’t there, he wasn’t in the labs, _his brother was hugging him_. They were alive, they were on the surface. 1,563 Resets in.  


He took a deep breath and let go of his brother. He couldn’t let the others think he wasn’t okay. He couldn’t let them worry about him.  


With a small sigh, he looked around the room, his hands finding the sheets as his eyes fell on the shadows. They stayed there as the darkness took a different shape. Sans blinked and the shadows were themselves again. Despite the nerves that sight gave him, he turned back to the others and forced a smile. They shouldn’t worry, even if he was dying inside. Even if he was breaking again.  


“Sorry if I woke you guys up. Didn’t mean to _rattle your bones_ like that, heh.” His voice sounded rough and scratchy, but that could have been accounted to just waking up so he let it be. He saw Papyrus narrow his eyes and thought that maybe he had diverted his brother’s attention in just the right way until Papyrus turned towards the others then back to him, a small, sad smile on his face.  


“Please, brother, don’t try to distract us. You have to talk at some point, so that we can help you,” he said, his smile growing more and more with each word. Sans stared. Why? Why did he have to be so fucking broken? Why did he have to be such a fuck up that he needed help?  


“I don’t...I’m fine. You don’t have t-to…” Papyrus and Toriel were shaking their heads before he even finished his sentence. Sans sighed, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck only to brush up against the bite mark. He winced and brought his hand in front of him when he felt a small, stinging pain and a sticky wetness near the bite. His eye lights went out when he saw the blood. _‘Just...just like the first time. Just like my nightmare.’_  


Sans continued to stare at the blood on his fingers, seeing smaller, shakier hands rather than his own. A set of longer fingers grabbed at his, smearing some of the blood on their own smooth bones. They were still small but were larger than his. He looked up at his younger brother, standing there and smiling encouragingly in that special way of his. _“It’s okay, Sans. He’s gone right now, you’re safe.”_  


Sans gave a small chuckle. _“Yeah, he’s gone now. But when he gets back? Oh, he’s gonna love this new scar that he made. He’s gonna love it a whole lot more than any of the others, I just know it.”_ Papyrus’s smile morphed into a frown as he gently shook his head.  


_“Don’t talk like that, Sans. We need to stay positive!”_ Sans full on laughed at that one. It sounded crazed. Papyrus seemed to cringe at it.  


_“Positive? Why would we need to be positive? We - heh - we’re stuck in a lab that we can’t escape while a madman does tests on us, and you think we need to stay positive. He, haha, he bit me because he wanted to hear me scream. He said that he liked watching me be helpless. And guess what? **We are**. We’re completely helpless, and there’s no escape. So, yes, let’s be positive in this messed up situation. We’ll talk about stars and flowers and glowing gems that we’ll never get to see while we wait for another test to come.”_ Sans’s fake smile was plastered on as he laughed madly. Tears streamed down his face.  


Papyrus looked heartbroken. Whether it was from his little speech or his laugh turned sob, he didn’t know. He didn’t care. If Papyrus hated him now, it was all the better. Then he wouldn’t have to deal with his crap, wouldn’t have to see him like this and push his own needs aside to comfort him like he always does. He’s such a shit brother.  


A sudden hand on his shoulder made him snap out of his flashback. He yelped and brought his hands up to protect himself, closing his eyes out of fear of what he might see.  


“Sans, please. You are in no danger. It is only us.” Toriel’s warm and soothing voice helped calm Sans’s nerves, if only a little. He brought his arms down to his lap but didn’t look up.  


“I know you guys wanna know what happened to me, and I know you won’t quit until I tell you _everything_ that happened to me. I just - I have trouble talking sometimes. It’s...I’m sorry. I have another way to show you, but the kid’s gotta leave,” Sans said with a voice that showed no emotion, slowly looking up at the others. They seemed shocked. Frisk was looking at Sans with a scowl on their face, but it didn’t hold much malice.  


“Heh, sorry, kiddo. This isn’t something someone as young as you should see.” They huffed, sticking their tongue out, but walked out of the room anyways, Flowey held in their hands. Sans felt a smile tug at his mouth but didn’t let it form. He had stuff to do.  


He slowly got out of bed, taking a moment to take in his surroundings. He was here, it was real. He kept repeating those words in his head as he walked towards his closet, ignoring the fact that his room was clean now. Paps had always been a nervous cleaner, much more than Sans was a nervous laugher.  


The room was silent as the skeleton opened the closet and rummaged around for the thing he was looking for. His face held no emotion as he pulled out a box full of old video tapes, all labelled with a smooth scrawl. Sans let the box sit there a moment as he closed the closet. When he turned back to the others, he noticed they were watching him with confused looks on their faces. He shook his head and picked the box back up, moving to a place near his TV to look through the tapes.  


The writing on them would have been completely unreadable to others but to Sans, it was almost like his first language. Sans let himself find the correct video on autopilot, too numb to care at the moment. Without a glance at the others, he slipped the tape into the VHS player.  


_**“Experiment one in the making of a human-monster hybrid. After some thought, I’ve decided to call these tests simply reproduction experiments. I am hoping that, when human DNA is present in the womb when an egg is fertilized, it will produce a sort of human-monster hybrid that will be able to escape through the barrier.** _  


_**“This experiment, even though it has a possibility to free monsterkind, was not explained to the public. The king did not approve of the risks that this could involve, since we still do not know the ins and outs of humans.  
** _

_**“I have decided to take these experiments into my own hands. Since Experiment One of the Font Series has not seen very many successes, I will be doing the experiments on it. Hopefully the worthless thing will be put to good use.”** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *evil laughter is heard in the distance*


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: rape, medical abuse, mentions of skelepreg**  
>  Oh wow, I think that's it??

The video cut to footage of an empty lab, a cushioned table with straps on it being the main focus. Sans didn’t have to look up to know what was happening, or what was going to happen. He knew this video and how it went. He had lived it, he had nightmares about it. It was nothing new.

**_“Stop struggling or I’ll have to sedate you.”_** Sans shuddered. He hated that voice. It was always far too calm before the...experiments.

A whimper sounded on the video, and Sans knew it was him. He cringed at the sound and looked to the side. “I, um. I’ll be outside. Watch whatever you want, they’ll explain…” _“Wh-what are you doing?”_ “They’ll explain most things with the Doctor,” he hurried to finish talking, before almost running to the door. With a small glance back at his friends, he noticed they all looked mortified. He opened the door and left quickly.

He had never told them this. Never, in any of the Resets and timelines, had he told them about what the Doctor did to him. Not the Reproduction Experiments, at least. He had given vague implications of the other tests and experiments but not...those ones. It had simply never come up, and Sans had gladly pushed those thoughts away. He would have the occasional nightmare about it, but he was usually quiet during them.

The only reason this timeline is different, is because the kid had found out about the Doctor recently. He didn’t know which timeline or how it happened, but in the three most recent, it had been a topic of conversation between them. Frisk would ask a simple question, and Sans would answer, because he owed the kid. He owed them for the Pacifist routes, for fighting Chara, for being a true friend throughout the Resets. He owed them for saving and freeing his friends.

Sans shook his head, hoping to derail his thoughts before they turned into more sinister things. He walked through the house, stopping momentarily when he noticed a red stain in the carpet. That must have been from when he shortcutted back here. He’d probably worried everyone. It’s not like it mattered now, though. They were watching the videos, they would know almost everything about him. It felt terrifying and exposing, yet...oddly liberating as well. He almost wanted for a Reset to happen, so he didn’t have to process all of these conflicting emotions. So he could just go back to the same old lines and same old script. No thinking or feeling involved. But he wouldn’t do that to his friends, to his brother. They deserved to be happy.

Sans felt a tugging on his jacket and snapped out of his thoughts to see Frisk standing in front of him. He let a gentle calmness take over his features and asked, “What’s up, Kiddo?”

‘Do you wanna watch TV with me?’ they signed, smiling at him. He raised a nonexistent eyebrow but agreed.

Frisk had been watching Mettaton reruns, so that’s where the channel stayed. Despite Sans’s dislike towards the robot, his shows were pretty good. They were a little dramatic and cheesy, sure, but that was true about some human shows as well. And that didn’t make them any less good.

As the show went on, Sans felt his eye sockets droop. He knew he should stay awake for when the others were finished watching the tapes, but he was tired. That was something that always happened after he used so much magic that his stats started fluctuating. It helped bring his magic back to a stable level.

He noticed Frisk seemed to be getting tired too. Their head kept falling just the slightest bit before they would jerk awake again. The flamboyant robot on the TV wasn’t enough to keep either of them from falling asleep.

Sans smiled a bit before poking them with his foot, having turned to a more comfortable position without even realizing. Frisk turned to him, rubbing their eyes. Opening his arms, he shifted his legs so they could get close without any uncomfortableness. They smiled warmly at him before moving into a position where they were laying on Sans, arms wrapped around his middle, and using his surprisingly comfortable chest as a pillow.

Both of them let out a small sigh. Sans wiggled around until he was completely flat on the couch then let himself relax fully. He gave a small yawn, snuggling into his jacket. Frisk grinned down at the skeleton. Their small plan had worked, even if it wasn’t in the way they had thought it would. A yawn forced its way out of their lips before they nuzzled into Sans’s warmth. The skeleton would always make a good pillow.

...

There was silence as the video continued. The sounds of the Doctor...doing that made Papyrus feel sick. He understood his brother a little better now, but he really wished there was a different way to have gone about it.

He wasn’t sure how to react. He was feeling too many emotions at once. He was sure he had never felt rage, or sadness, or helplessness, or disgust like this. That was his _brother_. Sans didn’t deserve that, no one did. He didn’t _care_ if it was meant to free monsterkind, he didn’t _care_ what reasons that **animal** had. His brother didn’t deserve any of this.

**_“I will have to wait a few days before there is any indication of pregnancy. Moodiness and fatigue will probably be the most noticeable changes. Monsters and humans, while similar in the early stages of pregnancy, develop symptoms differently. Monsters have a shorter pregnancy and lose control of their magic. Humans seem to feel a need to urinate more and sometimes vomit. Monsters do not have these problems in pregnancy as food is converted into magical energy when consumed._ **

**_“Font Experiment One will most likely show even less signs, since normal skeleton pregnancy is more magic based than others. I will have to update at a later time to determine if the Experiment is bearing a soulling or not. Until then, all other experiments will continue as planned._ **

**_“I have to say, despite the Experiment’s struggling, I found this first test quite...enjoyable.”_ **

The video ended there. The room was plunged into silence as everyone processed what had happened and what it meant.

“We...w-we should put the v-v-videos back,” Alphys stuttered out. Papyrus noticed tear tracks on her cheeks.

Mettaton nodded and let out a little noise of agreement with Alphys’s statement, face seemingly blank. For once, Undyne didn’t have a comment to make, her mouth shut tight as she looked to be struggling to hold back tears. Asgore and Toriel were silent as well, Toriel turned away from the TV and leaning into Asgore as both boss monsters cried openly.

“...No.” Everyone turned to Papyrus. “I want to know everything that **_monster_** did to _my brother_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of you seemed excited about the tapes. Sadly, most won't be in this story, because I like to leave certain things to the imagination of the reader. But I am giving you all a choice. **If you want to see a new story about the videos of the experiments, comment.** If I get enough people wanting it, it would be more of a side project than anything, because this story is my main focus. It would have less frequent updates than this one and would focus around the Reproduction and Determination Experiments. Now, I'm not a scientist, and I don't know everything about how these experiments would work so it would be almost complete bullshit.  
>  That being said, thank you all so much for your comments and kudos! I gave you some fluff this chapter, hopefully there will be some in the next. >_>


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: none really???? this is surprising, oh wait, warning for bad fluff**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry for being so long. I have a lot of reasons. For one, college started up a while ago so I feel a bit overwhelmed by that, and it's making things feel a bit...unreal I guess? Sorta like I'm in a dream but I know it's reality. I'm also forgetting things constantly, and it's a lot worse than the last time my depression hit. I honestly forgot about this story multiple times. Which sucks because I like this story.  
> So, the gist of it? I'm sorry if this chapter isn't the best, and I'm sorry if my replies seem lackluster. I have valid reasons for not updating, but I'm still sorry.  
> Hey, at least the chapter's pretty fluffy this time!

The sound of a door being slammed open jolted Sans awake. That, in turn, woke up Frisk, who was still laying on top of him. They blinked groggily up at him before giving him a just as groggy smile. He smiled back as they put their head back down. As soon as he noticed Paps standing in the doorway, his smile was gone. 

“Uh...Paps? You okay?” His brother was shaking, orange tears rolling down his cheekbones and his left eye bright with magic. He shook his head silently. Sans turned to get Frisk off of him so he could get up, but they seemed to be asleep again. Quickly realizing his predicament, Sans looked over at Papyrus and held out his arm in invitation. 

“Wanna join the cuddle pile, bro?” Papyrus nodded once, sniffling slightly and wiping his tears away before walking over. He paused for a second before gently climbing on top of both Frisk and Sans. Papyrus’s arms wrapped around both of them before he nuzzled into Frisk’s sweater. 

“Sans, I….” Papyrus paused for a second before continuing. “I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” He said it slowly, as if contemplating every word to make sure they came out right. 

Sans blinked up at Papyrus. Tears gathered in his eye sockets as the words registered. A smile lit up his face. Just the fact that his brother knew everything and wasn't disgusted by him made him happier than he had been the last few timelines. “I love you, bro.” 

Papyrus seemed to let out a small sniffle at that, but it was muffled by Frisk’s sweater and Sans couldn't be sure. “I know, I love you too.” 

There was a companionable silence as the two brothers snuggled, basking in each other's warmth. Sans was a bit surprised that Frisk hadn't woken up yet. He supposed they learned the ability from him. With his soul a little lighter, he closed his eyes in the hope that he could catch a few more hours of sleep. 

“Hey, are you nerds done with your sappy talk yet?!” Undyne yelled from inside the safety of Sans's room. Her loud voice sounded a bit shaky. 

“Y-yes, Undyne!” Papyrus yelled back, lifting his face up to look at his brother with a smile. “I'm going to ask them to take pictures, I hope you know.” 

Sans's eyes widened at that. “Wh-what? Bro, no.” 

“Bro, yes.” Papyrus grinned evilly. 

“I AM SO TAKING PICTURES!” Undyne's voice was loud in the room. There were small giggles and chuckles from the monsters behind her as they all took out their phones. 

Sans let out a mix between a squeak and a groan as he turned his face towards the back of the couch. “Whyyyyyyy?” He drew out the word so his friends could know his pain, even though he was smiling. His blush and grin grew as he heard them laugh. This was how they were supposed to be. 

“Why not, Sansy?” Toriel cooed. Sans could hear the smile in her voice. Before he could reply, a phone entered his line of vision and there was a clicking sound as a picture was taken. The phone was immediately taken back before he could get a good look. He blinked and let out a chuckle before he turned towards the others. 

“What the heck was that for?” His smile was still bright, but his voice held a bit of confusion. 

“Nothing to worry about!” Toriel replied, a mischievous grin on her face. Sans narrowed his eyes playfully. 

“If I don't get an answer, you're all joining the cuddle pile.” He glanced at his brother and Frisk on top of him. “Uh, preferably not on me, since I'll get crushed.” 

“ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I’M FAT, BROTHER?!” Papyrus asked, back to his normal volume and waking Frisk up. They yawned before twisting their head around and looking at Papyrus accusingly. They couldn't do much other than glare since their hands were out of commission unless they wanted to hit Sans or themself in the face. 

“SORRY, HUMAN! BUT, NOW THAT YOU'RE AWAKE, WE CAN GET INTO A SLIGHTLY MORE BENEFICIAL SNUGGLING POSITION!” 

Sans noticed that the magic in his brother's eyes had dissipated and the tears had dried up. He smiled when Papyrus realized that it was a lot harder to get up than it was to get down. He laughed when Papyrus's eyes did that googly eye thing when he got overly frustrated. Then, being the good brother that he was, he simply lifted Paps up with his magic and plopped him down on the floor. 

“SANS, I COULD HAVE DONE THAT!” Sans smirked at his brother and helped Frisk get up as well. 

“Whatever you say, bro.” 

Frisk signed at him, ‘I call snuggling next to Sans again!’ 

“ME, TOO!” 

“Hey, no fair!” Undyne was obviously the first to protest. Sans noticed she was slightly less energetic, but brushed it off when she and Papyrus started rambling about how fair it was or wasn’t that Sans couldn’t be cuddled by so many people. Alphys was also starting to get into the conversation, albeit a little more shyly than usual. Mettaton was simply smiling at them as they argued. 

“I think that it would only be fair if we were all to be cuddled up to Sans, but I do not think that is at all logical,” Asgore cut in. He was smiling warmly down at Sans. Toriel was doing the same, slightly leaning back against Asgore. 

Suddenly, there was a loud screech as Undyne fiercely noogied Papyrus. Sans coughed to hide his laugh as he watched the two tussle. Yeah, this was how they were supposed to be.

... 

“Hmm, he looks too happy.” 

**_“I agree.”_**

“What do we do? You already wasted your fragment in this timeline, and my hold on the bitch witch is way worse than last timeline.” 

**_“There isn’t much we_ can _do. Maybe I can persuade one of my followers to lend me their body for a bit. They seem to have a much better grasp on reality.”_**

“From what I can tell, they don’t need much persuading. They’re called your followers for a reason, they’re obsessed with you.” A pause. Both creatures contemplated. “What do you plan on doing?” 

**_“I’m not sure yet. I will think on it before I persuade my followers.”_ **

“...You think I could get in on the action?” 

**_“Of course, my child.”_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pay no attention to the creatures in the Void.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: panic attack (I think that's it)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *scampers in from the Void* Well, it's been a while, hasn't it? I've been busy with everything, sorry. This fic will probably only update about every month or so, unless I get a random burst of inspiration and time. That would be nice.
> 
> Okay, I drew some stuff for this a while ago. It's not the best, but I kinda like it? I don't know. I posted them back in August, jeez.  
> Here are the links (not sure if these'll work):  
> 1 - http://zanyfreak.tumblr.com/image/149639816769  
> 2 - http://zanyfreak.tumblr.com/image/149323317669
> 
> Unrelated note, but I got my first hate comment on this fic. I'll state it here since I know not everyone reads the comments: **I will not respond to any hate, on any of my works.** I only replied to that one because it was my first.

It was marginally easier to get out of the cuddle pile this time. He had to carefully maneuver to do so, but it was easier than simply not being able to sit up. It probably helped that they were all asleep and didn’t immediately pull him back because he “deserves a little rest.” He felt his mouth quirk up at that.  


Despite them knowing almost everything about him, they weren’t disgusted. They didn’t want to leave, they didn’t want to throw him out. He wouldn’t have blamed them if they had, but it was nice to know they cared about him almost as much as he cared about them.

Wait, why had he gotten up? Oh, right, nightmares. That was it. He didn't want to wake the others up just because his nightmares were a little...intense tonight. They were probably tired. Especially Papyrus. From what he understood, Papyrus hadn't slept at all during Sans's time recovering from his near death experience. And he had been asleep for, what, two days? Was that it?

Sans grit his teeth, snapping his gaze around the room. He could have sworn he saw a twinkle of red in the shadows. He always got like this when he couldn’t remember what day it was, so he really wished he could pretend it wasn’t there, that it was just one of his thought up hallucinations. The kid said that they wouldn’t do anything, but….

He walked quietly to the calendar, keeping an eye on the shadows he passed, telling himself he only wanted to make sure he had estimated his recovery time right. The kid wouldn’t Load a Save while he was unconscious, right?

His hands were shaking, he realized. It’s not like it mattered, no one was awake to see him. He still tried to stop them, though.

After a few moments of that, with a disappointed sigh, he looked at the calendar. He froze. Wait, no, that couldn’t be right. No, no, it wasn’t Thursday!

He brought the calendar closer to his face, flicking his gaze all over it. He had to be missing something. Frisk wouldn’t do that, Frisk was good this run. They wouldn’t do that to him.

“...Sans? What are you doing?” Sans immediately snapped out of his panicked thoughts, letting the calendar flop back into its place. If the kid had Loaded, Papyrus wouldn’t remember. Paps wouldn’t know a thing about his past. He would have to start lying about everything again.

“Just...what day is it?”

Papyrus’s eyes seemed to widen, his bones going paler than before. “It’s Sunday, brother. Are you alright?”

“What - what date? Like the year, the month.” How many Resets had he gone through again? 1,572? 2,030? Were they even on the surface?

“It’s 2016, and the month is October. It’s the 2nd. Almost everyone is on the couch from our previous cuddle session. Sans, can I touch you?” Papyrus slowly got up from the couch. He didn’t know what to do, but hugging Sans had seemed to help before.

“On the surface?” His breath was quickening. Papyrus heard bones faintly rattling together and cringed while he got closer.

“Yes, Sans,” Papyrus near whispered, listening to his brother's breathing and standing helplessly nearby. He wanted to touch him, but he knew it could lead to an even worse break down for his brother.

“October 2nd, 2016. On the surface. October 2nd, 2016. On the surface. October 2nd, 2016. On the surface.” Sans repeated the words like a mantra. He still wasn’t sure how many Resets there had been, but he at least had the date to latch on to. That helped calm him a little.

“It’s alright, Sans. No one is hurt. Nothing happened. Everything’s alright.” Sans let those words wash over him, still repeating the date. After a little while, his breathing returned to a relatively normal state and the fuzz in his mind lifted. A number floated through his tired mind.

“October 2nd, 2016. On the surface. 1,563 Resets in.” Sans let out a sigh of relief. “1,563 Resets.” He breathed the words before letting his shaky knees give out. Papyrus caught him before he could crumple to the floor. The taller skeleton still looked pale.

“1,563 Resets? Th-that many, brother? I thought...I didn't think it would b-be that much.”

Sans sighed. “Yeah.” His answer was quiet and mumbled from having his face stuffed in his brother's scarf.

“I...I'm sorry, Sans. If I had known-”

Sans jerked away from Papyrus. “What?! Paps, no, it's not your fault! If it's anyone's, it's my ow-”

“No, Sans. I would have done the same in your situation. And, if it's not my fault, then it definitely isn't yours.”

Sans slumped in his spot, then flopped back to his position with his face in his brother's scarf. “...You're so cool, bro.”

Papyrus simply sighed and picked Sans up in a sudden movement. “And _you're_ going back to sleep. Do you want to join the cuddle pile again or go to your room?”

“Mmm,” Sans eloquently replied.

“Mmm is not an answer, brother.”

“Mmmmm.”

“Sans, please say an answer that is not mmm.”

“An answer that is not mmm.”

“I would yell at you if that wasn't so clever.”

“I'm the cleverest.”

“Is that even a word?”

“I ‘unno.”

“...Will I get an answer if I ask the question again?”

“Mmmm.”

“Pile it is.”

With that, Papyrus dumped Sans on one of the free spots on the couch. Sans immediately got engulfed in soft white fluffiness. With Toriel and Asgore on both sides of him, Sans stood no chance against the vast ocean of fur.

“You guys are cuddly,” he muttered tiredly, letting out a little giggle afterwards. Two chuckles answered him, one deep, the other high. There was a soft “Nyeh” from his brother that was muffled by his new earmuffs. He extended his arm out of the fuzz pile, waving it around until he smacked against Papyrus’s skull. He patted him on the crown of his skull while whispering “pet, pat, pot” under his breath.

After a few moments, he muttered tiredly to his brother, “Save me, bro. I’m being cuddled to death by royalty. The tyranny.”

“Nope. You have to endure your cuddly torture.”

“Oh noo, betrayed by my one and only brooo….” A yawn made its way out of Sans’s mouth. His arm fell back into its furry prison while his eye sockets drooped.

“Go to sleep, Sans.”

Soft snores answered Papyrus’s words.

“I believe he was already quite ahead of you on that suggestion.”

Asgore’s quiet laughter made him look even brighter, Papyrus thought. He was a rather bright monster to begin with, but when he laughed he looked...radiant. Sort of like the sun. Papyrus gained a dopey grin as he thought about his first encounter with the giant floating star. Sans had been so excited to explain it to him while they walked down the mountain. Everyone could tell just by looking at Sans that he was just as happy to be up there as them.

...Maybe that was because Sans knew how it could have gone differently. Maybe he was just happy because he didn't see Chara this run.

Papyrus suddenly didn't feel the tired giddiness he had before. He began to put his new knowledge to everything about Sans that he had ever questioned, ever wondered about or thought too long on. All his actions, everything he did and said, could be explained by this new knowledge. Every flinch at a knife, every refusal to go to Alphys’s lab, every long period of isolation he put himself through, every odd word he said, every morning of laziness. Every panicked look when Papyrus gave him an unexpected hug or touch. Like...like Papyrus would hurt him or use him or _torture him, rape him, kill him._

Papyrus felt sick, his soul shaking with feelings he wanted to repress and hide away so they could decay until they were nothing but dust. He wasn't the one who needed help here. His feelings didn't matter, Sans's did.

He closed his eye sockets, taking in the snores of his friends - no, his family - and just breathed. Sans. Papyrus took a moment to look at his brother, still squished between the former king and queen. He had been through so much. It only made sense he would do all those things. Papyrus had nothing to do with it. He wasn’t at fault. He _knew_ he wasn’t. But he still felt like he was.

As quietly as he could, Papyrus pushed himself up into a standing position. He couldn’t sleep with all these thoughts in his head. Maybe water or some warm milk would help.

...The kitchen seemed so far away. A sigh left his mouth as he sluggishly made his way away from the couch. A shiver passed through him, making him freeze where he stood. It felt like...someone was watching him. Turning his gaze to the couch, he carefully watched his family. No one was awake.

He chose to ignore it and hurried to the kitchen despite his own reassurances of it being nothing. It was just the night getting to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...So, a bit of my Sansgoriel wants might have slipped into this chapter. Oops?? Meh, whatever. Great cuddly monsters are fun to write.
> 
> (I need to write more Hopelessly In Love if this is gonna happen to the fics not meant for Sansgoriel)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: rape, graphic depictions of rape, slight gore, Sans is having worse than a bad time basically (Gaster is a Gastard)**
> 
>  
> 
> **_Some days are worse than others, aren't they, Sansy?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, at least it hasn't been a month yet? You know, I have stuff due that's supposed to be, like, 8 and 4 pages in, oh, two to three days. Oh, and a character bio which doubles as a presentation. What am I doing writing this, you ask? I DON'T KNOW, I REALLY SHOULDN'T BE BUT FUCK EVERYTHING, YOU KNOW
> 
> (this is probably the second longest chapter in this story, just so you know)

Sans was awake. He didn’t know _why_ he was awake, but he was. He slipped out of the cuddle pile and pulled himself into the kitchen. Paps always said warm milk helped him sleep, maybe it would help Sans do the same. 

Flicking on the lights, he jumped when he saw the grey monster standing in the corner. After he realized who it was, he pressed his hand to his chest. His soul felt like it was beating a mile a minute. 

“Hey, buddy. You scared me.” Despite the fact that most of his friends were heavy sleepers and probably wouldn't wake up if a train ran through the house blaring its horn, he felt the need to keep his voice down. 

The monster let out an agonized moan in response. Right, they couldn't talk. Sans sighed then jumped again as another grey monster hugged him from behind. He would normally be okay with this type of contact but he was having a “no touch” day, as he liked to call them. Plus, this monster wasn't very tall, meaning his arms were rather close to areas Sans didn't want anyone touching ever again. 

“H-hey, I get that the Void’s probably lonely, b-but I would appreciate it if you di-didn't-” He was cut off by the monster suddenly pulling his arms behind his back and slipping off his jacket. The monster then pulled the sleeves through his radius and ulna and tied his arms tightly together. 

Sans blinked in shock before trying to get his arms free of his jacket. “Uh, wha-” 

The other grey monster advanced on him, its mouth spreading in a smile that seemed eerily familiar. 

_**“Hello, Experiment. Did you miss me?”**_

Sans trembled before opening his mouth to scream, yell, do something to stop what he knew was going to come. The monster - _Gaster_ \- shoved his tongue in Sans's mouth, swallowing up whatever he was going to yell. Sans tried backing up, but he was stopped by the other monster. 

_Who were they? Who was going to help Gaster rape him?_

There was a giggle behind him. Sans felt his blood both boil and turn to ice. 

_Chara. He should have known._

Gaster’s tongue slipped out of his mouth and before he could say anything something was shoved back into it. From the taste and feel of it, it was a dish rag. Sans cringed at the soapy and moldy taste. 

**_“As much as I love hearing you scream, we don't want you waking your friends, now do we?”_**

Sans whimpered. He felt tears stinging his eye sockets. He didn't want to, he didn't want to, _he didn't want to._

His legs were yanked out from under him, and he fell painfully on his arms. He shook below the two monsters, staring up at them with hazy eye lights. 

“We had some fun in that hall, didn't we, _Sansy_?” The monster bent down and pulled up his shirt, their smile growing larger. 

“You know, I'm kinda angry that Frisk kicked me out of their body, but it's fun to watch you squirm when they get near you. It's almost as fun as fucking you.” Their hands closed around one of his ribs, pulling enough that it creaked from the abuse. Sans let his tears fall. The pressure was getting too much, _too much please stop oh god please don't._

“They don't remember, do they?” They yanked and Sans screamed, his body arching from the pain. Blood dripped onto the floor. “They didn't _care enough_ to remember, _did they_?” 

Sans went limp under them, crying and whimpering into the dish rag in his mouth. This was happening, this was really happening. And he couldn't stop it. _He couldn't stop it._

“Hey G, you want his eye socket or his pussy?” 

**_“I think you know which one I want.”_**

“‘Course.” 

Chara retreated from the skeleton on the floor only to climb back on higher. They pulled off their pants, letting their cock spring free. Sans could hear Gaster getting on the floor at his feet. He pulled his legs together and closed his eyes. 

_Please don't please stop please please I don't want this not again stop no please._

“Aww, he's so cute when he's trying to resist. Wanna break him more, G?” 

**_“Always.”_**

Sans whimpered again, pulling his legs closer to his body and shaking. This couldn't be happening. But the blood dripping from his broken rib and the pressure of a monster on his chest were evidence enough. This was happening, this was real. 

A hand gripped his foot suddenly. He tried wrenching his foot away. But he was powerless. _Again._

He screamed louder this time when he felt one of his bones break. He’d never had one of his foot bones broken before, he thought detachedly. He wasn't sure if he was screaming in his head or in reality. 

He panted on the floor, dazedly realizing that his legs had been pulled apart and his shorts had been pulled off. His eyes remained closed. He gasped into the gag when he felt fingers run along the front of his pelvis. No matter how much being raped hurt, it was always the buildup that Sans hated the most. He hated that in a small part of his mind he could say that he _liked it_ , that _he liked being touched like this_. He didn’t, he didn’t, he swore _he didn’t._

His magic sparked to life and formed what the Doctor wanted. Gaster almost immediately shoved himself into Sans. The skeleton cried out in agony. Oh god, _it burned. He hated this._

“Open your eyes, Sansy!” Chara singsonged, tapping his cheek with something cold and sharp. He had almost forgotten about them with what Gaster was doing. He hiccupped as the Doctor started thrusting, the force make his body jolt and more tears build up in his eyes. 

Chara tapped his cheek again, this time dragging the tip across his jaw. He felt blood slide down his mandible. At least the pain from the knife was somewhat bearable compared to the pain from the Doctor’s less than pleasant thrusting. Opening his eyes slowly, he was met with the sight of a slightly bloodied knife. 

“Good boy, Sans! You were always such a good boy for me. I wish we had more time together. But Frisk just had to ruin our fun.” Sans tried to jerk away from Chara as they pumped their dick a few times before slipping it into his eye socket. He screeched as his magic tried to push the foreign object out of his eye socket. 

“Ohhh, that feels so good, Sansy! Ahh-ah!” They thrusted into his eye socket with a drunken look on their face. 

Sans must have blacked out because the next thing he knew, there was cum spurting into his skull and the Doctor in his line of vision. He felt cooling cum in his cunt, some slowly pooling on the floor below him. He simply laid there, not trying to get away or get up as Chara recovered from their orgasm, panting above him with their dick still in his eye socket. 

“Hah, that was fun. Hey, G, you think we can do this again sometime?” They said it so nonchalantly, so confidently. Sans would have sobbed if he could feel anything. 

Chara tucked themself back in their pants after pulling out of Sans. He did little more than grit his teeth at the somewhat painful relief. His eye socket felt like it was cracked from the roughness and there was cum in the back of his skull. He blinked a few times but his eye light didn't come back and neither did his vision in that eye. 

**_“Of course we can, my child.”_**

Sans stayed where he was as the monsters disappeared from view. He knew he should move, should try and clean up or wake his friends. But...he was so tired. He...he was numb. It didn't matter what he did. It didn't matter, he would always get hurt, always get pushed back down when he had just gotten up. 

He didn't know how long he had been staring at the floor, wasn't even sure if he had been awake or asleep, but there was sunlight peeking through the windows now. Everyone would wake up soon. He couldn't bring himself to care. He continued to stare at the floor. 

The first time everyone had seen this house, they had been excited to live together and be like a family. They had whooped and hollered at every little thing, even the floors. It wasn't like the Underground had the same floors the surface did. Everything was different. 

“-ANS! SANS, ANSWER ME!” 

Sans opened his eyes sluggishly. The vision in his right eye socket was still gone and his pelvis and other wounds still burned. At least the gag and his jacket were gone and his pelvis was covered. But he still felt the ache in his jaw from keeping his mouth open for so long and cum from two different monsters in two very different places. So it hadn't been some fucked up dream. Great. 

“Pap.” It was such a small word but it took everything out of him. If he wasn't already slumped and practically limbless, he would have gone limp. 

“SANS, OH THANK GOD, WHAT HAPPENED?!” Papyrus moved to hug him or hold him or something, Sans wasn't sure what, because he flinched away and Papyrus immediately froze and pulled himself further away from his brother, looking guilty. Which was wrong, because he didn't do anything wrong and Sans _knew_ that, knew he wouldn't even think of that. But there was still a chance. There was always a chance. 

“Sorry, I-I didn't. I'm sorry.” Words were so hard. Why did he have to speak? “Please, ca-can we go t-to bed? I'm sorry, please?” 

Papyrus frowned, and it looked like tears were starting to form in his eye sockets, but he nodded. “OF COUR-of course, S-Sans.” Papyrus's frown deepened when Sans cringed at his volume. “Can I...would it be alright if I carried you? I don’t think you can walk.” His eyes turned to his foot, then his ribs. Eye light sparking to life, he looked back at Sans’s face. Sans struggled to nod. God, he was tired. He wasn’t sure if it was from the loss of blood or the emotions of it all. Maybe it was a little bit of both. 

He flinched again when Papyrus got closer, but he let it happen this time, let himself be picked up and taken to his room. He noticed that no one else was awake except for them. What time was it? 

“Sans, we have to talk when you wake up. I...we need to know what happened.” Papyrus’s voice was so quiet. Or was he just too out of it to hear it properly? It didn’t matter. He was too tired to care. 

He barely noticed when he was laid on his bed, or when Papyrus joined him and he was wrapped up in a hug, or when his eyes closed and sleep took him. He barely noticed when his brother tightened his hold as he shed silent tears. 

... 

**_“We did well, didn’t we?”_** Gaster smiled proudly down at his child. They really were following in his footsteps. He had taught them well. 

“‘Course we did. They’re both sniveling like idiots. When do you think we’ll be able to do it again?” Chara flicked their new knife in the air, making it spin as if in zero gravity. A drop of blood swung off and into the Void. Gaster caught the drop on his finger, examining it. The Void didn’t have any light for the blood to reflect, making it look almost painted on the white of his bones. 

**_“Not soon enough. They’ll more than likely have someone stay with it at all times. We’ll have to find a way around that. Until then, we get to bask in the aftermath.”_**

He licked the blood off his finger, humming at the metallic taste. Chara grinned and took ahold of their knife, handing it to Gaster. He chuckled, sticking the tip of the knife in his mouth and sucking. 

“Yeah, can’t wait to see how the others react. That’ll be one hell of a shitstorm, right Dad?”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Warnings for chapter: Mentions of self-harm, mentions of unethical experimentation, self-hatred, blood (think that's it?)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. Hopefully the fact this is one of the longest chapters makes up for that?

Sans wasn’t sure if he had even been sleeping. He didn’t feel rested, so maybe he hadn’t. Maybe he had staring at the wall all night. Or was it all day? How long had he been laying there? 

It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. It would be Reset and everything would be fine. No one would remember. He could act like he forgot. It would be fine. He could act like it was fine. It wouldn’t matter. 

There was an ache in his bones that wasn’t there the day before. Was it from the injuries? The emotions? He didn’t care. He was numb. Nothing mattered when he was numb. Nothing hurt. 

“Sans? Are you...are you awake?” Papyrus. Right, Papyrus was with him. 

“Think so.” His voice didn’t sound like his own. Did he even speak? 

“...Will you tell me what happened?” Arms tightened around Sans’s middle, and he made a pitiful sort of sound. The arms retracted. And so did the warmth that Sans hadn’t noticed was there before. 

“Where is everyone?” Would they be awake by now? How long has it been since…? 

“I made them stay in the living room. D-Do you want me to get them?” 

“No.” 

They laid in silence, Sans staring at the wall in front of him, Papyrus watching him with a frown. Both of them knew something was wrong. So why wouldn’t Sans talk to him? Why would he bottle it up? Why? They had been making process, and now it seemed like everything was pushed back to square one. 

“Can you carry me to the bathroom? I-I wanna….” Sans trailed off and shut his mouth. 

The wall wasn’t particularly interesting, but it was something to look at. Something to capture his attention enough to be distracting. He had done this before. Just stared at the wall, waiting for a Reset that could potentially save them and destroy him at the same time. It was mind blowing how something that a _child_ could do could both devastate and free him. Could lead to something like...like this. Sitting in his shitty room, looking at his shitty walls after being raped by a monster that no one else truly remembered and a child that had been dead for years. God, a child had raped him. Multiple times. How weak was he? 

“Of course I’ll carry you, Sans. Would it be alright if we saw Toriel so she can heal you? I tried to last night, but I...I’ve never been good at it.” 

When had that happened? It didn’t feel like it had at all. Everything still hurt. 

“Sure.” It didn’t matter, it was gonna be Reset. It wouldn’t matter if his friends saw him like this. They would forget and everything would be fine. Did he want them to forget? 

He stayed limp as his brother picked him up, continuing to stare at the wall as it got smaller and smaller as they got further away. He wondered if Chara and the Doctor viewed him like that. Small at a distance, then once they got closer they figured he could be knocked down a few pegs. Maybe that’s why they did it. He _had_ been a little cocky recently. 

“Sans?” 

He blinked back into the present. They were in the living room now, everyone staring at him. So many eyes. Watching. _Why is he always watching?_

No, no, he wasn’t there anymore. He was on the surface. He...he. What happened? Why were they looking at him like that? 

“Uh, what?” He straightened up in Papyrus’s arms, wincing as pain lanced through his ribs and foot. He lifted up his shirt, which he noticed was covered in red. Had he spilled ketchup on it? One of his ribs had a crack running through it, dried blood covering the wound. 

Oh. Right. How could he forget about that? 

“Sans, would it be alright if I touched you?” Sans looked up Toriel, the numb feeling already back. 

“Sure.” 

Even though he let her touch him, he still flinched when she did. He started shaking when her hands stayed on his ribs, careful to not touch his cracked rib. He shoved his face into his brother’s shirt, gripping the fabric of his own shirt so tightly he was surprised it wasn’t ripping by now. 

Toriel pulled one hand away from his ribs and gently brushed her fingers across his cheekbone. “Sans, it’s alright. It’s only me. I won’t hurt you.” 

Sans shook as he took his face out of Papyrus’s shirt and looked at her, eyelights so small they were nearly nonexistent. He relaxed a bit, but he was still tense. 

“I-I know, Tori, I just...I can't….” He trailed off and decided to leave it there. What was the point? 

“It's alright, I understand.” Though her voice was calm, Sans could see the sadness in her eyes. She was probably disappointed in him. Disappointed that he was scared of his _friends_ , of all people. God, he was horrible making them worry like this. He was just horrible in general, really. 

“I’m going to heal your foot now, alright?” 

Sans nodded, looking down at his now healed ribs. The blood was still caked on his bones, but at least his ribs didn’t hurt quite as bad as before. He let his gaze fall to the floor as he pulled his shirt down again. 

“Sans, could you tell us what happened?” Undyne looked furious, her eyes blazing in a familiar way while Alphys tugged at her crossed arms. 

Sans suddenly had the odd feeling of being in a bad crime mystery. The room dark, one light dangling from a wire, while someone pounded on the table and asked for answers and another played good cop. The thought would have been funny in a different situation. 

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. How did he even start this conversation? How would he even explain it in a way that everyone would understand? 

He started again. “After a shower. I-I need time to think on how to explain this.” 

Toriel nodded silently while Undyne huffed. The fish monster clenched her hands around her arms, Alphys muttering quietly about how she was hurting herself and pulling at her hands to loosen them. 

“At least tell us if whoever did this is still out there. I’ll fucking end them!” 

Sans’s eyelights vanished, and his hands tightened around Papyrus's shirt. “Th-They're gone. It's-s fine.” 

Undyne threw her hands in the air, pulling at her hair. “It is _not_ fine! They hurt yo-” 

Papyrus cleared his throat, interrupting her. “I believe my brother said he wanted a shower before he talked. You are not helping right now, Undyne.” 

Sans looked up at Pap, then let his gaze fall back to Undyne. She looked red with anger, ready to pounce on the next thing that moved. Alphys had given up on trying to hold Undyne back, instead stumbling back into the arms of Asgore. Mettaton was standing off to the side, his arms folded tightly over his chest and glaring towards the kitchen, where there was still a stain. Frisk was still sitting on the couch, holding Flowey. Both looked lost. 

“Alright, you're all healed up, Sans!” He could practically taste the forced cheer in Tori's voice with how much it tainted the air. He forced a smile to give back to her. 

“Thanks.” 

No one said anything after that, the room quiet as everyone took a moment to themselves. Alphys was the first to break the silence, watching Sans with a knowing look in her eyes. 

“You sh-shouldn't be alone, Sans. N-Not for a while.” 

As much as Sans hated to admit it, that would be for the best. He didn't want to constantly be accompanied, but being alone wasn't an option. Too much could happen if he was alone, and he wasn't sure if it would be because of him or...them. 

Sans didn't like his friends looking like they were, and the fact that it was him that made them look like this made it worse. “You...you can put me down now, Paps.” 

“Nope.” 

Sans spluttered for a moment, snapping his head to look at Paps. His eyelights were shrunken in surprise. 

“Uh, what?” 

“I want to carry you,” Papyrus chirped with a grin. 

“Oh. Okay?” 

Sans tried not to think too hard on it as Papyrus walked towards the bathroom with him still in tow. He adjusted himself to be more comfortable and stared back at the others with confusion. They all seemed confused too. 

Papyrus sat Sans down on the toilet in the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He pulled out a towel and an extra pair of clothes he always kept under the sink, separating the shirt from the other clothes. He sat both items on the dirty clothes hamper near the shower and returned the rest to the cupboard. 

“Take off your clothes.” 

Sans found himself complying before he could even really think about it, slipping out of his shirt quickly. The Doctor would hurt him worse if he wasn’t quick. 

“Oh my god, Sans, what happened to your arms?!” 

That made Sans snap out of his brief mind lapse. He looked down at his arms. They were always covered around others, either with his jacket or his long-sleeved shirts. They weren’t a lovely sight and looking at them brought back even more memories that were more recent, as well as the ones he had already been focused on. 

Holes had been etched into the bones of his shoulders and arms. Lower were the more recent scars. Ones he, himself made to help with the pain of the Resets. Some timelines he hadn’t even had the motivation to get out the normal knife, just clawed at his arms until dust covered his fingertips. Of course, those timelines were in the past. His arms in this timeline only had the pristine cuts of an overused knife and the pockmarks of a needle. 

“Experiments.” He didn’t mention the other marks, the ones he did himself. He hoped Papyrus wouldn’t mention them or that he would assume they were also from the Doctor’s time with him. 

Papyrus snatched up his arm and stared hard at all the scars marking his brother’s bones. He gently traced one of the scars from a needle, then one of the ones that formed a near perfect line. 

“Brother, these aren’t all from experiments.” 

Sans shook his head as guilt and shame dripped through every single one of his bones, the black sludge of emotion slow to make its way to his soul, encasing it and squeezing. He pulled his arm away from Papyrus, gripping it tightly with his opposite hand. 

“Resets are hard to deal with sometimes.” 

“You...you did all of those to yourself?” Papyrus dragged his eyes away from Sans’s arms to look at his face, concern washing over him when he saw a blank look instead of the emotions he was expecting. 

“I’m sorry.” He wasn’t, really. The scars he made were justified. They helped, and he deserved them even if they didn’t. He deserved to look ugly for everything he’s done. 

Papyrus frowned, pulling Sans into his arms and closing his eyes. “Just...promise me that you’ll tell me, tell anyone if you feel the need to...do that again.” 

Sans sniffled, but no tears came. He wasn’t sad, just...empty. And that made him want to cry. He wasn’t sure why it would. Being empty was easier than being sad. 

“I-I promise.” He didn’t take promises lightly, both skeletons knew that. Sans heard Papyrus take a deep breath as he pulled back, smiling down at him as he wiped tears from his eyes. Sans ignored the tears and focused on Papyrus’s smile. Both silently decided to act normal and pretend like nothing bad had happened. It would be easier. 

“Alright, off with your shorts too. I won’t have you showering with your clothes on!” 

Sans snorted humorlessly as he slipped his shorts off and stepped out of them. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t remember putting them on or anyone else doing so. Maybe Papyrus did it when he was...sleeping. He still wasn’t sure if he had been. He shook his head slightly before turning the shower on, waiting for the water to heat up while staring at the water splashing near the drain. 

Papyrus tried not to outwardly react to his brother’s apparent lack of surprise of the scars lining his hips and the bruises on his thigh bones. God, they were bad. He had seen them before, when he had first noticed his brother on the floor, but he hadn’t truly processed them then. He had been too focused on covering Sans up and getting him to answer him to really take in the bruises and scars. Now they were out in the open and hard to ignore. 

“Alright bro, I think the shower’s ready. Wanna join me? Save water and all that jazz. Probably help me get clean, too.” The last part was muttered under his breath. 

Papyrus immediately snapped his gaze away from the bruises and to his brother’s face. He had an arm in the shower, under the water to test if it was too hot or cold. 

“Are you sure, Sans? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” 

Sans turned the hot water up a bit then turned towards Papyrus. “Wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t sure. C’mon, we used to do this all the time in Snowdin.” 

“Yes, when you said the water bill was getting to be too much. We don’t have that problem up here.” Papyrus raised a brow bone. 

“Well, yeah, but-” 

“You just want me to clean you so you don't have to do it, don't you?” 

“Yep.” Sans gave a small grin up at him, shoving his arm back into the shower to test the temperature again. 

Papyrus sighed dramatically before pulling off his shirt and throwing it at Sans, who ducked it. He then shimmied out of his shorts, kicking them at Sans, who dodged again, and pulled off his scarf. It was gently set down on the dirty clothes hamper, on top of the shirt he had for Sans. Opening the cupboard, he grabbed the rest of the clothes he had left and also put them on the hamper. Sans was stepping into the shower by the time he had turned around. He followed suit, closing the shower curtain behind them. 

... 

“Toriel?” 

The goat monster had stayed planted in her spot after the skeleton brothers had left, staring after them. Something wasn’t right with Sans. She wasn’t sure what, but there was definitely something wrong. 

“Is something wrong?” Asgore brushed a hand over her shoulder, partially hugging her from behind. 

She gave a snort, looking up at Asgore with a frown. “Other than the obvious?” 

Asgore frowned at her, raising an eyebrow. His arm tightened around her as he shifted slightly. “Are you implying that there is something more?” 

“Ugh, just get to the point! What’s wrong with Sans?!” Alphys shushed her girlfriend, patting her on the arm. 

“Not to excuse her behavior, but I agree with Undyne. You should just tell us if something is wrong,” Mettaton butted in, for the first time since they all woke up and found the skeleton brothers gone. Frisk and Flowey both nodded decisively. 

Toriel sighed, leaning against Asgore and closing her eyes. “There is something odd with his magic….”


	11. A/N - story going on hiatus, I'm so sorry

Sorry to get you excited for a new chapter only for it to be an author's note, but this story is going on hiatus for a while. I thought about doing this (or simply letting this story go completely) for a while now. Writing this one has become more of a chore than anything else, and I'm slowly starting to hate it. Honestly, I have no idea where this story was even going to go, and the plot is everywhere. It's just not something I want to continue at the moment. I've held on this long because I didn't want to let you guys down by letting this go, but I can't do it anymore. I love you guys, but this story is being seen as more work than it's worth in my mind. Sorry.

Here's the bright side, though! I might pick this up again in the future, if and when I feel more motivated to do so, and I might just rewrite the whole thing with better writing, character development, and plot (again, if/when I feel more motivated)! My other fics are going to continue as planned, with updates being around every month unless I need more time! I will probably continue to write the Tape You story (the story about the tapes)! Though, it's turning into a story about Gaster's life and how he turned into the evil man he is today, hope you don't mind. The tapes will still be present, but it will take a little while to get there! I have other fics in the workings, as well, though I'm not sure if I'll post them.

If you want to see outtakes from my fics, writing struggles, original works by me, and fics I started but never finished, follow my very new Tumblr account (it's a week old and has one post) specifically for writing: zanywrites.tumblr.com! Direct any questions, concerns, or criticisms you have over there or in the comments!

Also, check out this totally awesome fanart I got! http://aminoapps.com/p/d8r25 *cries* It's so beautiful!! Give all the hugs to Freaktale, all of them! *flops on them*


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